random acts of boredom

sharingtime:

Whenever I see a guy with a lame tattoo, I take it upon myself to tell them.

“Yo dude, why do you have a compass tattoo on your arm?” I asked the guy next to me on the bus.

“Because I fucked your girl last night,” he replied.

The bro next to him began to laugh.

“Well then I applaud you, sir, for you now have the clap,” I said. “And how do I know? Because I gave it to her.”

“Hey everyone!” he shouted. “This dude next to me has the clap!”

Two could play that game.

“Hey everyone!” I shouted louder. “I have the clap!”

The entire bus laughed. They were on my side, I could tell.

“I also have feline AIDS,” I said quietly.

The guy looked serious.

“How do you even get that?” he asked.

“Usually just takes a ball of yarn, catnip, and a whole lotta patience.”

This post has been brought to you by the letter vodka.

Here’s a good laugh to start your morning off right!